Here is where you can find all the election campaign pledges The Afternoon Party has made in keeping with our motto:
"Making Promises We Can't Keep"
We are committed to the timely implementation of these policies, when we get around to it.
Let's face it, we will be so busy patting ourselves on the back, goading the losers and realising we don't have the first, foggiest clue what we're doing, it will take a good 18-24 months before we get around to actually governing.
The Afternoon Party hereby commits to:
1. To force Joss Whedon to make a second series of Firefly. Quite frankly, this pledge alone should be enough to bring the 25-45's out in force on election day and secure a win in any western nation.
2. That all CityCat stops will be announced in a pirate voice.
3. That humidity across Queensland will be capped at 75%.
4. To build the Death Star. This is a long term, joint venture between the mining sector and government. However, if wages costs start to explode, we will enslave Ewoks to do the work.
5. We will denounce anyone who "hits the hustings". Violence is never the answer.
6. To immediately ban any TV show that has a "Kardashian" in it.
7. To revoke citizenship of anyone who uses the pronunciation "Oztraya" and change all candidate's names to KEVIN RUDD in the vain hope of getting some media attention.
8. To put a stop to potentially damaging solar flares.
9. Three day weekends for all, with no rain guaranteed.
10. To implement a "year on, year off" system for daylight saving. Sorted!